Post 25 - Welcome To Reality

I grabbed my phone..

I had too many broadcasts with ad3iya so i skipped them without even opening the chats until i checked my recent updates

More than two people status's were 

"اللهم يا شافي يا معافي اسألك ان تشفي أخوي زيد" 

My jaw dropped..

What's happening?

My heart skipped a beat..

I froze in my place for 1 minute. I dialed Zaid's number a couple of times..no answer..i kept calling and calling..then Lulu (Zaid's 10 year old sister) answered.

[Call To Zaid]

Lulu - A-a-aloo? her voice was a bit shaky

Me - Lulu 7abeebty! Wain Zaid!? 

Lulu - Layoona! Zaid yamee bel mostashfa mayegdar yetkalam aw yet7arak! Layoona walla 7adi khayfa please ta3alay!!!!! she started crying really hard

Me - Laish mayegdar yitkalam? Lulu shfee Zaid! I felt my heart shatter into pieces

Lulu - Ohwa eb '3aybooba crying harder 

Me - Chena a7ad 9akni 6rag n-na3am? my eyes were full of tears

Lulu - Ams bilail kina fel shalaih oo ohwa kan bil buggy ra7 iyeeblina 3asha min mcdonalds bnaider, chan sayara tid3ima wohwa 3ala el buggy..chan il ambulance ya5thoona oo iwadoona il 6abeeb, wadoo il 3iniya il morakaza o ohwa wayed wayed wayed eb 7ala 5a6ra, fee nazeef and he broke both his ribs..her voice bida yga6i3

Me - Alo Lulu masma3, iga6i3!!

Lulu - Alo? Aloo sobbing

Me - Iga6i3! Suddenly the line got disconnected

[End Call]

I felt something very heavy against my chest. What the fffff is happening? I can't believe this is happening. The most important person in my life yemken allah yakhtha meny ou yrou7 3ani. It feels like there's a whole weight on my heart. My heart feels like it's sinking. Tears were streaming down my face and won't stop, just like a waterfall. Zaid. I love him. I thought of the last time i saw him, i regret not sticking around, i regret getting close with Bader and avoiding Zaid. Bader is a douche. I love Zaid but i love Bader. What matters right now is how i'll get to Zaid and him to be in my arms right about this second. A sense of aloneness and loss has HIT ME. I can't lose Zaid. Allah yshafee. I was numb, i couldnt move. I tried calling Lulu again and again but it kept saying CALL FAILED. i can't standing waiting 2 more days. I just can't. Wetha la sama7a allah, alah khatha 3umra? Ana shasawy? Shasawy ana!? Lazem ashoufa. I think i'm going to run away and get back to Kuwait. I mean i HAVE TO!

Running away is what i decided to do. 

I know they'll all be mad, but whatever..it's Zaid.

I love being with Zaid. I love you Zaid. I love being with you, it's true..you never learn to appreciate something until you lose it. It puts the biggest smile on my face when i see you happy ya Zaid. I just wanted to go up to him and tell him how we can be ourselves around each other, how we can be so free and stupid around eachother. There isn't anything more that i'd rather do than to make him smile and laugh, because knowing that he's happy will make me happy. 

I got on an airline website and booked a ticket to Kuwait at 5PM. I looked at the watch, it was 1:40PM, i have time to pack. I quickly got up from my bed, wiped my tears away, and tried to calm myself down while wishing in my head that Zaid will stay ou alah ya7fetha enshala. I got my back, unzipped it, and scooped up my clothes from the closet and threw them in the bag..not caring about folding the clothes. I quickly collected the important things and put them in my handbag, unzipped my big bag and was ready to go. I pulled a paper and pen from the drawer and started writing:

"Hey Dalal. Dalal sem3ay i know you're wondering wainy, Zaid got into a very serious accident o i6arait ahidkoum wared el kuwait. Please calm down o lat7ateen. I'll be there by today night and i'll call you as soon as i land in Kuwait. Lazem arja3la w lazem a6aman 3ala 9i7ita, i've already lost so many people in my life, i'm not ready to lose him. Love you and take care "