Post 30 - Welcome To Reality

Incoming call

Me: Alo?

Mama: Hala 7abeebty ga3da?

Me: Yes

Mama: 7abeebti Layani reday elbait

Me: Mama no getlech im staying

Mama: Khalas bas 3ad reday

Me: Mom! No! im staying!

Mama: Atleast ta3alay shway just change and rest! you can come back later on..and you have school tomorrow..spring break is over..

Me: Inshallah

Mama: I'm going to send the driver now

Me: I'll be waiting

Hangs up

An hour later, my driver got here..I kissed Zaid on his forehead and whispered "I love you" in his ear...

Left the hospital and finally got him..

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Ahh finally, home! I dragged myself up the stairs and walked to Mama's room..

Mama: 7abeebtiii!!! I missed you!

Me: Ana akthar mama

Mama: Ha shfeech? Wayhech ta3ban

Me: Turning around at the mirror and looking at how messy and hidious i looked i know Mama, it hasn't been such a pleasant week for me

Mama: Ta3alay shlon il safra? Inshala stanstaw?

Me: Ugh don't even bring it up..it was horrible!

Mama: Laish 7abeebty?

Me: Makent merta7a wya el nas ely yayabehum oboy

Mama: Rfeejtech Daloola weyach shlon ma stanstay! O Obooch yay weyach 

Me: Ee wallah lo msafreen ana o Dalal broo7na wayed a7san..kelesh ma rte7t 7ag el safra Mama..

Mama: 3ala 6ari Obooch, he talked to me a few hours ago

Me: Ohh intay w Baba you sorted things out? 

Mama: la2 7abeebti, kalamni 3anich o sa2alni..t9arwa3 obooch bas fahamta il salfa wiya Zaid o gale ena el laila birid wiya Dalal o baje el rider..

Me: Ohh zain zain

Mama: Do you know any of them?

Me: No i don't

Mama: Ok good. Shlich bel shabab..

Me: Tadreen feeni Mama lies and lies and lies were covering me...madarait 3ani ana w Bader

Mama: Ee adree entay shnu, kelesh mara7 ashik feech she kissed my forehead and guilt drowned me Yala 7abeebty roo7ay tsabi7ay badlay rta7ay eb darich 

Me: Inshalah, binroo7 7ag Zaid ilyoum?

Mama: La2, bacher inshala

Me: Baru7la

Mama: Bas 3ad! men ams entay 3inda ma9arat, bacher shoufe il walad mafe ela el 3afya

Me: Yuma shnu bas 3ad! Tadreen Zaid 3isheeri o a3arfa men wana yahal!

Mama: Ok witha ya3ni? nayma intay hnak bel ams ge3dy 3ala 7ailech bel bait o 9eray mara, bas 3ad shal sowalif?

Me: Hffffffff!!!! I slammed the door and ran to my bathroom

I decided to take a really long hot shower

Slowly opened the water and it ran over my body...I stood there with too many thoughts on my mind..

Bader bader bader..

Zaid zaid zaid...

What did Bader want to tell me the other night at the hospital?

Shfeeni 3ala Bader? Masken..he really wanted to be here yemken mu qasda shay
wela did laish marne? What really happened that night with Rayan?
Akalma ashoof shil salfa? 
A6ansha? 
Ma adre Ma adre!!!!
Will Zaid survive?

Whom do I truly love? Zaid or Bader?

Should i sort things out with Bader?

Should we take a break from eachother?

What to do..

Etc etc etc..

Tears rolled down my face, i felt tired & empty & so fucking weak..What should I do?

Got out the shower, changed, laid down on my bed, and took my fone out

no messages from Bader

ahh well fuck him..

I suddenly fell asleep

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3 P.M

I woke up on the sound of my mother calling me, fazait min noomti o radait 3alaiha

Incoming Call: Mama

Me: Hala mama

Mama: wee 7abeebty 3asa ma ga3aditich men el noum?

Me: La 3ade, shfeech ?

Mama: I'm going to bait Mama Maryam, msaween ghada 

Me: Yala inshala ma3indi shay

Mama: Badlay bsir3a libsay ayshay dara3a o nizlay, tyeen eb sayartich wila an6irich?

Me: Ni6reeni yuma ma a6awil

Mama: Ok 7abeebti ana na6ra bel sayara

Me: Inshala

Hangs up

Pulled myself together, washed my face, put on my dara3a, and ran down stairs to my mother

Mama: Allah allah 3al dara3a, maku makeup maku shay?

Me: Yuma wala ta3bana 

Mama: Ee 3adi kilha bait yadich

Got to Maryam's o ga3adna 3al sofra..solafna o solafna o solafna chan eyubun 6ari Zaid

Mama Maryam: Ee ta3alay Mona ishfee wild Um Zaid? That question stabbed me on my heart 

Mama: Uhh yuma wala mafee ila il3afya, bas msawe 7adeth 

Mama Maryam: Ahhh inzain lail7eena bil mstasha?

Mama: Ee ghaybooba

Mama Maryam: Il 7adith chayed?

Mama: Shway

Mama Maryam: Wee maskeen allah ygawma bel salama

i looked away and pretended like i didn't hear

Mama: Inzain yuma ta36eeni il 9ala6a ily yamech? I felt like my mom sensed me hurting so she decided to change the subject

Mama Maryam: hach bnayte

I felt my phone vibrating...
1 messege from Bader

"Mishtaglich oo karih wath3na..atmana itrideen 3ala il msg l2ana tharoori abee akalmich o ma abi a5ish 3anich shay! Wayed imp!!!"

I replied:
"I do too. Laish shno 5ash?"

1 message from Bader
"Ma yinfa3 msgs, abi akalmich wayh ib wayh..mita tgdren"

I replied:
"Today"

1 message from Bader
"Meet me ib 7adee8at Shamiya isa3a 6:30pm"

I replied:
"Ok"



Ga3adt afaker afaker...Shno yabe eygole Bader? Shisalfa? 
I started panicking..Inshallah maku ila kel khair!


Mawa3ait ila Um Zaid dasha bait Mama Maryam..tghadat weyana o salemat 3alay


Um Zaid: Hala 7abeebty Layoona ta3alay ta3alay 3a6eeni lama

Me: Hala khalti! kha6ach ilsu matshufun shar enshala yguum bel salama

Um Zaid: Kha6ach illaish elshar mayeech, allah yesma3 minich 7abeebty

Me: Shlona Zaid?

Um Zaid: Il7imdilah met7asen, tawne rada min il mostashfa, gilt atghada 3indikom la2ana umich maryam lazimat eny akel

Me: Zain tsaween khalti o 3alaich bel3afya,,lai mta ga3da bel mstashfa khaltii ilyom?

Um Zaid: Wala ma adre, etha bkharech tyeen..ta3alay wiyay al7een

Me: Yallah khoush i turned around 3ala umy yuma baroo7 wiya khalti Um Zaid 7ag Zaid ilyoum

Mama: I could sense my mother wanted to say no but she couldnt Ok 7abeebti, kaifich chan tsasirnii ru7ay badlay la tru7en chethe eb dara3a

Me: Enshallah


Kamalt 9a7ni chan agum min il sofra


Me: Yallah ana asta2thin..sofra dayma!

Mama Maryam: wain 7abeebty wain! Ge3day ma kalaitay shay!

Me: Mama Maryam wallah kalait wayed! 

Mama Maryam: La2 makalaitay shay! Mona golay 7ag bintich teg3ad

Me: Inshala ka ka il7een akel! i took my spoon and scooped a spoon full of rice and stuffed it in my mouth ka ka shufay kalait!

Mama Maryam: Allah weyach 7abeebti!

Um Zaid: Mu ib tyeen wiyay 7abeebty Layoona?

Me: Imbala khalti, bared abadel, awal ma tkhalseen kalmeeni 3ashan ana al7igich eb sayarti

Um Zaid: Khoush


I got back home, changed, and took out my fone..it was 5:30pm.



Um Zaid called me at 6:00 and told me she was out our house..I took out my car keys and ran to my car and drove off to the hospital..la7agt sayarat Um Zaid o wi9alna el mostashfa


Nizalt shway...dashait wila kil rab3a mawjudeen..it was kind of awkward..khalti solaft wiyahum and i just saw there awkwardly..


Incoming Call: Bader

I looked at the time it was 6:35pm..shit!

He sent me a text
"I'm there na6rich.."


Me: Yallah ana asta2thin..ygoom bel salama inshallah

Um Zaid: Mashkora 7abeebti allah yesma3 minich

Me: Taben shay khalti?

Um Zaid: Salamatich 

Me: Allahysalmech yala ma3a ilsalama


I walked as fast as i could and drove to Shamiya Garden


I got to Shamiya Garden & texted Bader
"Ana bel parking..bel sayara"


Bader
"Nizlay ana dakhil na6rich"


I got done the car and gazed at the place

It was 
empty 
silent
dark
green
and windy


I walked inside and spotted Bader on the bench

He was sitting on the bench with his hands on his face

I got a weird look on my face and my heart started beating so fast..

Shfee Bader?!

I got closer and closer and closer silently


Me: Bader? I gently moved his hands off his face